I can explain…..

Hey Santa, Hey Santa,

What’s with the no presents under my Christmas tree?

I know I slept in this morning and only woke when the cabin steward banged loudly on my door as he held my freshly squeezed orange juice, early grey tea and croissant…..you know, my pre-breakfast, breakfast.   Was this the reason you left no prezzies in my spaciously elegant appointed stateroom with luxurious mariner’s dream bed and premium linen with extra fluffy Egyptian cotton pillows ?  Really, Santa – there was nothing at the end of my bed!

Hey Santa – what gives, have you been making judgements about “naughty and nice”…… was it because I didn’t leave you those chocolates on my pillow last night when my steward turned down my bed whilst I took a stroll on the promenade deck……. we’ll truly……I can explain…….. it was Sir Ken who ate the chocolates….. he was still hungry after his 5 course Christmas Eve dinner…

Hey Santa, It seems to me you’ve made an error in judgement not leaving any pressies for me, you’ve not afforded me the natural principals of justice to explain…….oh dear Santa, now who’s been naughty and not nice…….

You see Santa I tried being nice and well…….   

Oh dear the El Capitain has just announced there’s an unusual blip on the Volendams radar…… and he can tell that  it’s Santa by the shape of the reindeer sleigh…… Perhaps Santa you’ve heeded my call and want to avert a “Natural Principles of Justice” lawsuit ….  Truly and really I can explain…… but before I do make sure Nixen and Blixen are safe….. there’s a lot of passengers here that would love just a bit of venison deer……